that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
