It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
