I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
