just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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