my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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