The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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