I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
