i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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