Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i now understand why vodka
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
