We won't sleep together?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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