Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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