If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
