here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize