I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
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The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
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I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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