I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
