if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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