Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
