she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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