I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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