My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
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