Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
