My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Randomize
