dude i'm inner monologue high
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
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you had me at cake vodka
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
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Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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