U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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