Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
