You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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