Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
