The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
