once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
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I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
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I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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