Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
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Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
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He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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