God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
