well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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