Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
