I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
