At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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