He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
