Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
