New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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