Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
