I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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