I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
