one word: firstdatebathroomanal
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
