you would pick up someone in the library
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
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