We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
