Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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