so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
