Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize