Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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