If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
