I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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