I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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