college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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