i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize