do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
