he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
