Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
