WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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