in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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