he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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